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How Do I Forgive Myself?

I was just speaking with a wonderful woman, a dear and precious Christian lady whom I got to meet in the context of a pastoral crisis. The crisis was this woman was guilty of adultery. The adultery happened years ago. Her husband found out about it, and she confessed it. And they began a process of restoration and reconciliation. God was gracious and kind, their marriage was saved, and their marriage became stronger than it had ever been. It was a wonderful success story. But the woman approached me because she was feeling horrible. She was feeling terrible. We had concluded counseling at this point, we had concluded the restoration process, and things were going well, as I said, but she is feeling terrible. And she came up to me, and she said, Pastor, I’m so thankful for all the...

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Five Ways to Love with Our Words

Our tongue is an amazing piece of God’s creative handiwork in our bodies! In one sense, it is an anatomical anomaly. The tongue is the only body part that contains muscles that are not attached to a bone at both ends. Unlike your biceps, which are attached to your elbow and shoulder joints, the tongue is an intertwined matrix of muscles that pull on each other, giving it the flexibility to twist and turn into a seemingly endless array of shapes and sizes. It also possesses tremendous stamina as it works tirelessly throughout the day in the activities of talking, eating, and removing food from your teeth. I mean, when was the last time you said, “Boy, my tongue is tired,” or “Man, my tongue muscles are sore!” Probably never.   But not only is the tongue an intricate mass of...

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Should I Believe Online Accusations?

A while back, I was at a gathering of pastors from all across the country. This gathering of pastors was a very mixed bag. There were pastors in that room that are famous. You know their names and have heard of their ministries. There were other pastors in that room that you’ve never heard of. They’re just serving faithfully in their congregations in their local context. And one of the things that I noticed after that time together with those pastors is that every single pastor that I had a conversation with every single one lamented. Some were in tears. Many were brokenhearted. But every single one lamented that in the last year, there had been some attempt to destroy their lives and their ministries with lies told about them online, maybe on a social media platform, maybe...

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Trusting God with The I-Don’t-Knows

On Sunday, I announced my need for a fifth brain surgery and thought the operation was weeks away. On Tuesday, my doctor said he wanted to do the surgery today—Friday. That surprise is a reminder that so much of life is found in all we do not know. The I-Don’t-Knows of Life Life happens in a flash of the immediate present. Once that flash is complete, it instantly becomes the past. Our knowledge of those past moments comes only after the fact. Our future moments are everything beyond the present flash of lived experience. We never know what those moments will bring. Sometimes we have good guesses about what the future holds. But guesses are not facts, and likelihoods are not certainties. There are never guarantees about what is coming. When we try to look ahead beyond the immediate...

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Caring for Broken Marriages at First Baptist

When a medical emergency occurs, there are many types of systems and levels of care that have been developed to help. You can call 911, and an ambulance can come, and there is a trained EMT onboard. Another option would be to drive to the emergency room and trained ER docs and nurses are there to help. The Urgent Care facility in your area of town is also available to care for your needs. Doctors, nurses, paramedics, imaging technicians, and pharmacists have varying areas of expertise to help when there is a need. We are grateful for all of these options. Here at First Baptist Church, we have also developed various types of care systems, both for immediate and preventative care for those experiencing brokenness in life in general and in marriage in particular. We have done this so we...

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How To Leave Your Church

Last week on Marked by Grace, we talked about when to leave your church, and we talked about how to process the decision about whether or not it is time to find a new community of believers. This week, I want to follow up on that conversation and not talk about when to leave your church, but talk about how to leave your church. It is possible to do the right thing in the wrong way. That is, it is possible to come to a clear decision that it is time to go to another church and then for you to leave in a way that is bad in a way that is harmful in a way that is damaging. The Lord may lead you to another church at some point. If he is, then that same Lord will be leading you to leave that church in the right way. Then as you’re processing how to leave a church, when you think...

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A Disappointing Health Update

April 16, 2023 Update This morning I shared some hard and frustrating news with First Baptist. In the last week, I learned I will require another surgery for ongoing neurological problems in my brain. It is painfully ironic that I was learning about my need for this fifth brain surgery during the week of the release of my new book, which had its origin in my very first surgery. The release of that book seemed, in my mind, to be commemorating the end of this season of struggle. Let me explain this unanticipated setback. How I Got Here In 2018 I was diagnosed with what doctors called a vascular compression of cranial nerves in my brain. That means a cluster of blood vessels was applying pressure to a crucial nerve in my brain that controls movement on the right sight of my body. That...

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I Want to be Like Epaphras

As a child, it is common to seek out heroes you would love to be like as you grow up. They become models for future growth and even icons in dreams for the future. I can remember baseball players I wanted to play like when I played little league, musicians I wanted to sound like when I became interested in music, and pastors whom I wanted to emulate when I was called to ministry. We know that the perfect image we are to “grow up” in is that of Jesus Christ. But who can we look to in the Scriptures to follow because of their example of following Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1)?   The obvious choices are the heroes of the faith. The book of Hebrews gives us a list of options in Hebrews 11: Noah, Abraham, Sarah, Moses, David, and many more are obvious choices listed there. In the New...

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When To Leave Your Church

This week, we’re going to talk about one of the often most painful but also very necessary and practical topic of when to leave your church. It is painful because, listen, anybody who has ever left a church that they love, that they were invested in, you know, it is painful. There have been times when Lauren and I have left a church. And one of the things that we’ve said is that it is the closest thing to a divorce we’ve ever experienced. There is a ripping and a tearing. That is painful. But this also is a necessary and a practical topic. Because most of you listening are not going to attend the same church for all of your life. We have a member at First Baptist Church who was born into a family that attended First Baptist Church; he has attended First Baptist Church...

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The Reason I Wrote The Great Love of God

The Great Love of God is my first book since 2016, and releases today. There are lots of books out there to read, so I’d like to take a moment to explain three reasons why I hope you’ll pick up this one. A Personal Reason for The Great Love of God The years between 2018 and 2022 were the worst of my life. A ministry crisis and four brain surgeries created an explosion of suffering. But my story of those years is not one of pain but one of love, grace, and glory. When Christians betrayed me, and my body failed me, God pulled me close. His presence sanctified my suffering. God revealed his love to me in profound and fresh ways. I want to share with you what I experienced. This book is personal. There is more of me in these pages than anything I’ve ever written. A Global Reason for The...

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