Why am I Afraid of Change?

I have played guitar for nearly twenty years. Countless hours of strumming, chording, and fingering have led to an ability to play the instrument almost unconsciously. I can pick up a guitar like two old friends pick up a conversation. Comfort and familiarity flow from the knowledge that these fingers on those frets make that particular sound. I can confidently stand on a stage with a guitar in one hand and a pick in the other because time and trial have taught me what to expect as I play. Yet this comfort, familiarity, and confidence are unimaginably fragile. Tuning, intonation, number of strings, space between strings, fret height, and a hundred other small details make a guitar do what it is supposed to do. Change even one of these details and my confidence plummets. I have been on stage when a broken string threw the whole guitar out of tune, and my only option was to stop playing. I longed for the good old days (a few moments before) when my guitar had all its perfectly tuned strings. Familiarity was soon restored with the presence of a new string. The familiar routines of life are even more fragile than a guitar, but in life, you cannot change a string.

Life does not have a “good ole days” button. We are on a breakneck conveyor belt of change. Our lives march forward to the rhythmic reminder of the ticking clock. We age second by second. Life changes minute by minute. Change is inevitable.

Yet we human beings love to attempt the impossible feat of carving out havens of consistency within our ever-changing lives. We establish routines, order the same meals, drive the same roads, visit the same mechanics, and purchase the same items because “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Familiarity breeds security. You know what to expect when you order your favorite burger. You like the burger. Could another item from the menu be better? Perhaps, but it also might be worse. It is safer to stick to your routine.

Ah, but sometimes, you are standing on life’s stage and a string breaks. Your favorite restaurant changes management, the mechanic retires, your children grow, or you receive a dreaded diagnosis. The routine-haven you had constructed crumbles to the ground, and you are left feeling vulnerable and anxious.

We are afraid of change because it threatens several potential sources of safety. The Bible talks about these sources of safety as idols. They are idols because we are truly safe and secure in the everlasting, unchanging, and omnipotent arms of God. Any other source of security slanders God’s ability to keep us safe. These idols are not friendly. They are enemies of your soul. If you bow to them, they will gladly destroy you. Our great hope is in Christ, who pays for our slanderous idolatry, forgives us, and holds us in his hand. I hope the following paragraphs will help you identify the source of your fear and find glorious rest in the unchanging arms of Christ, even when one of life’s strings breaks.

One of the reasons we are afraid of change is that it threatens our control. As a rule, we are less fearful of the changes that we choose. The changes that cause real fear to rage in our souls are the changes that are sprung on us. God loves to bring these changes into our lives. Trust in control regularly masquerades as trust in God, and change is one of the tools God uses to remove the mask.

The illusion of control lures us into feeling safe about the future. The Lord has placed us on time’s conveyor belt so that we can see the present and past (albeit from an extremely limited vantage point). The future is hidden from our sight. We seek to organize our lives and calendars so that we know what to expect when tomorrow comes, but the uncomfortable truth remains: Only the Lord knows what tomorrow will hold.

“You can keep yourself safe.” This is the lie the enemy whispers into your ear. The slander that he wishes to launch at God (and wants to keep hidden from you) is this: “God cannot be trusted to keep you safe.” When we put our trust in control, we simultaneously believe the lie and speak the slander.

It is crucial to consider idolatry in terms of trust. Admitting that you have a problem trusting man (whether yourself or someone else) instead of God unlocks a treasure trove of God’s gracious instruction for you.

Consider Jeremiah 17:5-8:

Thus says the LORD:

“Cursed is the man who trusts in man

and makes flesh his strength,

whose heart turns away from the LORD.

He is like a shrub in the desert,

and shall not see any good come.

He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,

in an uninhabited salt land.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,

whose trust is the LORD.

He is like a tree planted by water,

that sends out its roots by the stream,

and does not fear when heat comes,

for its leaves remain green,

and is not anxious in the year of drought,

for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

This passage teaches that a person’s thriving has to do with the location of their trust, not their circumstances. The Lord describes two types of people. The first person puts their trust in man. They get their strength for life from something created. The result? They are like a shriveled desert shrub. The second person has set their trust firmly in the Lord. They get their strength for life from him. The result? They are like a thriving tree. The location of someone’s trust determines their thriving — even when things change. Notice the two changes of circumstance that the Lord describes in verse 8. The person who trusts in the Lord thrives when the heat comes and is not anxious in the year of drought.

A desert shrub appears healthy in the rainy season, but the change of seasons reveals its withered reality. Change often exposes our misplaced trust. When you find yourself paralyzed by fear of change, send your roots to the steady stream of God. Trust him. Make him your trust. Abandon the foolish notion that you can keep yourself safe, repent of your sin and slander (your life has said, “God will not keep me safe”), and drink deeply of the water of life that Christ died to give you.

When one of life’s strings breaks, it is uncomfortable, but it does not have to paralyze you with fear. Every change comes into your life from the loving, nail-pierced hands of your God and savior. Each change is an opportunity to shout with your life, “This is my God, and he will take care of me.” Your green leaves and abundant fruit in the midst of heat and drought will testify to the steadfast goodness of the stream, the water of life, Jesus Christ.”