First Thoughts

Overcoming the Fear of Medical Issues
I don’t recall the exact moment my dislike of needles began. Instead, it feels like a persistent theme throughout my life. I am not a fan of anything involving needles—shots, blood draws, and IVs all make my face go white.
Once, during a campaign to promote blood donation in my high school years, I absolutely refused. The thought of a needle going inside me made my head spin. I would only get my blood drawn at the doctor’s office if there was no other option. Each time felt like a massive ordeal, nearly causing me to pass out.
For three decades, I was able to skirt around this fear. Bloodwork was only necessary once every year or two, and as a generally healthy individual, it wasn’t a dominating issue or constant source of anxiety. All of that changed, however, when I was suddenly diagnosed with stage-four blood cancer. I found myself confronted with a fight for my life, as well as a host of unknown medical issues. My anxiety about medical procedures could no longer be hidden.
I quickly traveled to a specialized medical facility to seek answers for my serious illness. While at the cancer center, my resting heart rate was so high that the nurse informed me I would not be seen unless it came down. I was at risk of being admitted to the hospital if my heart rate didn’t stabilize. In the midst of this, I proceeded to throw up on the floor due to my heart problem.
The Heart of the Fear
I’ve learned that my fear of medical issues is not unique. Many people are afraid of doctors, nurses, and all things medical. What is happening inside us that causes such great turmoil? Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (NIV). The problem I was experiencing wasn’t with my physical heart. Despite its rapid rate, the issue was a spiritual one. I was filled with fear and anxiety over the future in general—and medical issues in particular.
God was using my cancer as an opportunity to sanctify my soul. What I needed more than anything was to “seek the Lord” (1 Chronicles 16:10-11). I spent day after day drawing near to God in his Word and asking for help. I needed to repent of my anxiety and ask God to deliver me from my fears (Psalm 34:4, 17). I cried out to the Lord for mercy, and he graciously heard my prayer. As I sought him, he began to change me. “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded” (James 4:8).
To understand the heart of the matter, I had to answer the question: Why was I so afraid of medical procedures? There were several causes for my sinful fear, but a pivotal moment came when a fellow pastor said to me, “You are viewing medical procedures as working for your harm instead of for your good. You are seeing needles as the enemy rather than as a tool that will provide answers and solutions.” I wasn’t trusting God with my future, nor was I viewing needles as a good gift from him.
For my whole life, I had hated needles because I thought of them as sources of pain, strangeness, danger, and threats. I hadn’t seen them as God’s kindness to me, knowing that he would work all things together for my good and his glory. This change in mindset—this repentance—was a significant turning point in my journey.
You may not have the exact fears I’ve experienced, but our hearts are similar. What is at the root of your worries? What is the worst thing you fear might happen? What are the thoughts that make your heart race when you think about the future? Write these thoughts down, and then draw near to the Lord. Take refuge in Christ, who endured far greater suffering than we ever will.
Practical Steps
Overcoming fear typically doesn’t happen immediately. It’s less like flipping a switch and more like building a log fire in a fireplace. There were numerous practical steps I had to take in order to be changed “from one degree of glory to another” (2 Corinthians 3:18). Here are two practical steps for your consideration:
1. Set the Cross of Christ Before You Each Day
Let the mind of Christ shape you. The Bible tells us that Jesus “set his face” toward Jerusalem (Luke 9:51). Jesus knew the real dangers ahead. He wasn’t blind to them nor overly optimistic. He knew the depths of the torment he would experience. How was he able to face such darkness? Jesus looked ahead with resolute determination to the “joy” that he would experience on the other side of suffering (Hebrews 12:2).
Jesus actively chose to go to the cross, and he did so with the end goal in view. It was for the joy set before him that he endured the cross and despised the shame. As you prepare for your next MRI, CT scan, or PET scan, you need to set your face like flint, knowing that God will use it according to the good counsel of his will.
When preparing for invasive surgery, resolve that it is the best course of action and trust that you are in the sovereign care of Christ, who endured much worse. As you go through chemotherapy week after week, look ahead to the joys of the future that God will bring, using doctors and nurses to bring about healing. Even when you face terrible odds, there is still joy ahead—through the process of sanctification and the eternal promises of God in Christ. Set your heart on those joys, and let your will act accordingly. As Jerry Bridges has helpfully stated, “Trust is not a passive state of mind, but a vigorous act of the soul by which we choose to lay hold of the promises of God and cling to them despite the adversity that seeks to overwhelm us.”
2. Seek to Serve Rather Than be Served
It’s easy to become self-focused after receiving a diagnosis. We forget that doctors, nurses, receptionists, and coordinators are real people with real problems, just like us. One practical way to suffocate fear is to focus on others. Jesus had this mindset, even to the point of death on a cross (Philippians 2:5-9).
How can you be a blessing to the medical staff helping you through your illness? Do you know their stories? Have you asked them about their lives when they draw your blood? Do you know their names and how you can pray for them?
The remarkable blessing of growing in love happens when we turn our attention away from ourselves and toward others in the name of Christ. Jesus came to earth not to be served but to serve and give his life as a ransom for many. He even served his family on the cross when he entrusted Mary to John. We can forget our fears more and more as we focus on others to the glory of God.
Conclusion
In God’s kindness, I am no longer throwing up on the doctor’s floor, nor is my heart rate through the roof. After months of sanctification, God has progressively increased my peace regarding medical procedures. This growth has not been easy, but it has been profound.
I still have moments when the familiar fear of anxiety knocks on my door. I am not yet done with my treatments, and I have not been declared cancer-free. But in those moments of darkness, I can turn to my good Shepherd, who leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. He has prepared a banquet table before all his children, even in the presence of their enemies (Psalm 23:3-5). Won’t you turn to the Lord Jesus and let him prepare a medical table before you? Surely goodness and mercy shall follow us all the days of our lives, and we will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Sean Perron (Ph.D. in Applied Theology from Midwestern Seminary and M.Div., The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary) serves as the Associate Pastor. He is the co-author of three books: Letters to a Romantic: On Dating, Letters to a Romantic: On Marriage, and Letters to a Romantic: The First Years.
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