There could be more at stake than you realize.

A teen you’ve known their whole life approaches you and says, “I have a question I’ve been wanting to ask you.”

A friend you’ve gone to church with for years says, “Something has been bothering me and I want to know what you think.”

I’ve learned that sometimes a question is more than just a question and statements like these deserve my full attention.

People often express their questions as curiosities, but underneath lies a growing seed of doubt.

Sometimes the doubt is a sapling.

Sometimes it’s a forest with deep roots.

We live in a world that is actively trying to inject lies into believers’ hearts. So, we should not be surprised when believers sometimes have doubts. We should consider it an honor that they’ve come to us for help!

I’ve spent most of my life as a believer trying to help others with their doubts, and I want to share some of my best advice so you will be ready to help others too.

Here are some important things to keep in mind when someone shares their doubts with you.

What Not To Do

Shame them: I’ve heard horror stories of pastors and parents shaming congregants or children who express doubts. With exasperation, they can’t believe they are even being asked such a question. This response is harmful, and it is no surprise when the questioner embarks on a journey towards “deconversion” or wrestles for years with doubt.

Dismiss the question: Sometimes someone’s question might seem obvious to you, but if they’re asking it, it’s obviously not obvious to them.

“Just have faith.”As a young believer, I went through a time of doubt. Looking back, I now know I had ordinary questions (which have good answers), but being told to “just have faith” made me think my questions were the result of sin.

“Just pray about it.” Praying is always helpful, but some doubts need the truth revealed in God’s word. Again, telling someone to “just pray about it” can make it seem like the person has a spiritual failing and can cause them to feel unnecessary guilt.

Refer them to Google (or Chat GPT): Sometimes people take the easy way out and just tell the questioner to do some research. This can be terrible advice as the internet is full of wolves and lies.

What To Do

Be interested: Love this person by taking their question seriously. So many people are afraid to bring their doubts to their pastors, parents, or other believers. Listen well and show them you care.

Be calm: When people express their doubts, they are usually freaking out a little bit, at least on the inside.  Being calm shows them that you care and that you’re a trustworthy person to engage in conversation.

Ask clarifying questions: When someone asks you a question, it’s not always clear why they are asking it. Are they asking for intellectual reasons or out of deep, personal hurt? I like to get some backstory and ask, “When did you first start thinking about this?” It’s also helpful to ask, “Where is this question coming from? A video? A friend?” Asking questions and getting clarity will help you get to the root of the problem.

Assure them: I always assure people that there are great answers to their questions. Even if I haven’t recently studied the subject they’re asking about, enough Christian thinking has transpired over the course of church history to demonstrate there are thorough answers available for them.

Answer them: Even if you’re not an expert in the subject matter, they are asking you because they want to know what you think. Be honest and don’t make things up, but give them the best answer or partial answer that you can give in that moment.

Take them to the Bible: One thing I’m convinced of is that most people’s doubts are best addressed with the Bible itself. Many doubts arise from a lack of knowledge or from skeptics twisting scripture. If you’re going to help people with their doubts, you need to be a faithful student of God’s word and ready to take them to it.

Take them to Jesus: Jesus said to Pilate, “For this purpose I was born and for this purpose I have come into the world—to bear witness to the truth.” (John 18:37b). In John 14:6b Jesus says, “I am the way, and the truth….” Jesus came to the earth to reveal truth, and Jesus is the truth. When people are struggling with doubt, what they most need is Jesus.

Follow up with resources: No one is an expert in everything. Give them the best you’ve got in the conversation, but then go the next step to help the questioner find good resources. I often text some resources within the hour of the conversation and let them know I would be happy to talk more.

Don’t Miss The Opportunity

Other people’s doubts and questions are an opportunity for you to share both the love and truth that is only found in Jesus Christ. Open your heart to hear others and help them with their doubts. You could make a far greater difference in their life than you would ever expect.